Herzlich willkommen, Damen und Herren, to our über-funky guide to Europe’s premier sextination: Germany!
Germany has been hard at work over the past 75 or so years rehabilitating her image for something or other.
Was it the Weimar government? Hyperinflation? Scooter’s happy-hardcore anthem The Logical Song? We forget. Anyway, part of that shiny new image is legalized prostitution.
As point-scoring goes, it’s pretty damn effective. Who can resist the lure of German sex tourism without the pesky drawback of getting thrown in the can for your troubles?
Since the legalization of prostitution in the former Prussian Empire, it’s become a bit of a Blitzkrieg mit dem Fleischgewehr, with more bratwurst getting slammed into sauerkraut than even the neighboring Netherlands.
Brothels, strip joints, massage parlors – the German sex scene got something for everyone, and you’ll know exactly where to find them at the end of this guide.
So put yourselves in our fist, dear reader, as we take you into the wonderful world of German sex tourism…
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Why Is Germany a Great Sex Tourism Destination?
Simply put, lieblinge: because since its legalization in 2002, prostitution in Germany has evolved into a wonderful fairytale adventure of incessant, writhing, oily skin-on-skin action.
The country even boasts “mega-brothels” with spas, cinemas, bars and more scantily-clad Mädchen than you can shake a currywurst at.
In 2021, official estimated that the country was home to 40,000 legally registered sex workers. However, the number of unregistered prostitutes was said to be around 400,000.
As a further result of the country’s liberal attitude towards sex work, the girls are safer, better protected and healthier than in countries where the oldest profession remains illegal.
The self-evident benefits of this aside, it does also mean, on a more selfish level, that you’re less likely to get rolled or pick up an STI.
Sounds Good! But What Are German Girls Like?
Your average Mensch on the Straß might have a vague notion of what a German girl might look like and it’s probably an image involving blonde hair, blue eyes, and fair skin.
But this is a somewhat antiquated and inaccurate assumption that might have been informed by that historical embarrassment we earlier referred to (Scooter has a lot to answer for).
The truth is that Germany is an extremely multicultural country these days, and so the idea of a “German” girl in the Eurocentric sense has become less and less applicable.
Ethnically Turkish, Polish, Italian and Russian women are all ‘German’ in this day and age. This means that in your average German brothel, the world really is your oyster.
Further to this, two-thirds of girls working in German brothels are not German in even the loosest sense of the word but are usually Eastern Europeans.
Bulgarians and Romanians usually top the bill, although they will often pretend to be Spanish or Italian to escape the stigma often directed towards Eastern Europeans.
When it comes to the sexual expertise of German girls – well, legalization spawns many benefits, and one of those is properly vetted and trained sex workers.
These girls know their way around a length of Bockwurst, and they aren’t afraid to show it – after all, the faster you get off, the faster they get to another client.
It’s the wheels of commerce, baby, and it’s wunderbar to behold.
The 5 Types of German Hookers You Can Expect To Find & How Much Sex Costs
Germany is no less diverse in its prostitution industry than other countries with a more nebulous legal definition of the art. Let’s take a look at what you can expect:
Note: All prices are in euro (€)
Clad in knee-high boots and not much else, the streetwalkers of areas like Hamburg’s Reeperbahn are readily available and usually quite cheap.
Usually, a one-off session of around 30 minutes will cost you somewhere between €25 and €30.
This, of course, is extremely cheap, but you get what you pay for: don’t expect model-quality girls or amazing sex.
Something else to note with street walkers is that, even though free healthcare is available to all sex workers in Germany, they don’t always take advantage of it, and so STIs are a risk.
Furthermore, there have been reports of petty robbery as a result of patronizing streetwalkers; So watch your belongings and wrap up.
German Massage Parlors
Not everybody is in the market for full sex or the sometimes intimidating experience of visiting a brothel, and for such people, there is always the option of an erotic massage.
Because Germany has legal brothels, however, ‘erotic massage parlors’ are generally not fronts for brothels – they don’t need to be.
They are, therefore, usually what they say they are – an actual massage with an erotic twist (read: happy ending).
One interesting thing about such parlors is you’re far more likely to find ladies of an Asian persuasion than you might in a standard brothel (typically dominated by European girls).
There are, specifically, no small number of Thai massage parlors operating in the country. Something to bear in mind if you have a penchant for the Asian ladies!
An erotic massage will generally cost around €60 and includes a happy ending, although this may vary.
Things like blowjobs and full sex are not usually on the table because, again, why wouldn’t you just go to a straight-up brothel for such things?
German brothels have a great variety of girls in their 20s/30s, but as is standard in Germany you’re unlikely to meet many German girls (most will be Eastern European imports).
Prices vary; some places charge a €100 cover fee which will include a number of instances of full sex (between 3-5), whilst others may charge a similar fee for entry but will require you to pay each girl separately.
If this is the case, expect to pay €50-80 per girl depending on how in-demand and good-looking she is.
Though each has its merits and drawbacks, be aware that if you’re playing a flat fee for a number of goes on ze little pink fun tunnel, the girls may be in higher demand and you may find yourself having sex with someone who just finished wiping off her Apfelstrudel not 30 seconds ago.
Always the priciest option in any country, escorts are widely available for both in-calls and outcalls in any major German city.
It’s extremely easy to find a girl using any of the major escort websites, but eurogirlsescort.com is particularly recommended due to its ease of use, clear pricing structure and extensive photo galleries.
As mentioned, escorts are never particularly cheap; be prepared to pay €200-€500 per hour and add €100 if it’s an outcall.
German Strip Clubs
We’re sorry to keep going on about this, but did you know prostitution is legal in Germany?
As a natural corollary of that, strip clubs are an endangered species in the country. What is a strip club but a brothel where you don’t actually get to have sex?
It’s like going to a restaurant where you can’t eat your food, and as such is wholly pointless in a country with brothels aplenty.
That said, you’re going to struggle to find a genuine strip club (as in, just strippers but no sex) in Germany.
If you do find a German strip club that does offer sex – well, there’s a word for that. It’s called a brothel.
5 German Sex Experiences You Don’t Want To Miss!
Germany’s rather unique take on the sex industry (we’re not going to bring it up again but you know we want to) means that it offers a few things that you typically wouldn’t find in other countries. Such is the way of adding a hefty dose of capitalism to the flesh trade!
German Flat-Rate Brothels
As touched upon above, flat-rate brothels are a thing in Germany. This is what it sounds like: you pay a flat rate and get to stay and party in the brothel for as long as you like.
These places usually offer free booze and a number of goes around the Tannenbaum, if you catch our drift (fucking. We’re talking about fucking).
It can vary from place to place, but generally, you’ll be looking at around €100 for the entrance fee, free booze (this may be limited in some places) and as much schtumping in the arschenhalle as you can handle.
Whilst flat-rate brothels are a great way to save a euro or two, it’s worth mentioning that they’re very popular precisely because of their cheapness.
This means that you may need to wait a while for your chosen girl to become available. Despite this, they are a very uniquely German brothel experience and it’s well worth doing!
The ISG visited one of these flat-rate brothels in the wonderful German capital of Berlin. You can check it out here.
In the era of internet porn, you’d be forgiven for thinking adult theaters have gone extinct. But if you’ve read our British porn cinema article, you’ll know they’re alive and kicking!
The Germans have a deep love for porn cinemas, known locally as porno kino, and you can find them dotted across the country.
But don’t expect masturbating Blitzkrieg veterans in trenchcoats, times have changed! A German porn theater is a sexual community and atmosphere like no other.
Expect promiscuous Hotwives, swingers, single women, and transsexuals thrown into a mixture of horny men from all walks of life. It gets wild and, usually, anything goes.
You’ll find areas for public sex, private booths, BDSM dungeons, and even the elusive Gloryhole.
You’ll see a lot of kinky shit inside these places. Come with an open mind and an empty stomach. What happens in the German porn cinema, stays there.
Something almost unique to the German sex scene is the “mega-brothel”, which is exactly what it sounds like – a sprawling complex with amenities aplenty besides paid sex, but also obviously paid sex.
The biggest mega-brothels (like Artemis in Berlin) are a little like Disneyland, except Princess Jasmine and Belle are cum-thirsty cock-gobblers.
They are massive, sprawling establishments with theaters, spas, buffets, bars, clubs, private rooms, and much, much more.
Generally you’ll pay a flat entrance fee for all these goodies, and should a girl catch your eye, you can disappear off to a private room with her and go Nutz.
Or you can simply go to town on the whore of your choice in a public area of the place – it’s all good in a mega-brothel.
Mega-brothels are the ultimate testaments to both capitalism and fucking – if you only have one German sex tourism experience, make sure it’s at one of these bad boys.
German FKK Clubs
Named after the German practice of Freikörperkultur or ‘free body culture’ (nudity) – an FKK is a kind of sauna-cum-brothel with large communal areas, bars and buffets, and plenty of naked ladies (hence the name).
Similarly to mega-brothels, clients pay an entrance fee and then a further fee should they wish to enjoy the company of any particular Mädchen.
German Sex Nightclubs
Clubs such as Berlin’s Berghain – a club based in a former East German power station and the most iconic of Germany’s hedonistic sex nightclubs – are infamous the world over, and it’s not hard to see why.
Notoriously secretive and difficult to get into, these kinky nights out will absolutely blow your mind (as well as other things) should you make the grade.
If you make it inside you’ll reportedly find all kinds of debauchery. Though there are private rooms set aside, it’s quite common for people to simply fuck and suck wherever the fancy takes them.
Though an overwhelming portion of these hedonistic revelers will be men, there are plenty of women taking part as well. Whether you want to partake – or simply to watch – is up to you.
Top Pieces of Advice For German Sex Tourism
We’ve explored the German sex scene more times than we’d like to admit. So, naturally, we’ve learnt through trial and error what to do and what not to do.
Next, as with all of our world-class sex guides, we’ll share our top tips for a sex tourist in Germany.
We don’t mean that physically – although that might help if you end up in Berghain – what we mean is that you need to relax (or let go completely) of your inhibitions.
Germany is incredibly liberal compared to a lot of countries, particularly sexually, and you can expect to see plenty of nudity and fucking in shared spaces.
Oh, and if you do see such things…
It’s OK To Look
People wouldn’t be fucking in public if they minded people watching – and in fact, they might be doing it precisely because it turns them on.
There’s no shame in looking, and, indeed, there’s no shame in paying a visit to Frau Hand and her five beautiful sisters if the desire takes you. Anything goes, as long as you’re respectful.
Just because the Germans are so free and easy with sexuality, publicly or not, doesn’t give you a license to be a creepy shithead.
Flesh on display does not mean flesh to be grabbed, even if it’s a sex worker. Don’t act like people are meat and you’ll be fine.
Hit The Bathroom When You Need a Break
Because of the plethora of great places to fuck, you’ll find that the bathrooms are surprisingly free of hanky-panky – in fact, many places ban it.
This means that the bathrooms are a great place if you need to get away from all that unfettered hedonism for a minute.
Seriously, Be Careful With German Street Hookers
Germany is a very safe country generally, but you do need to be on your guard – particularly if you go the streetwalker route.
These girls might not be registered, might not be clean, and might be drug addicts. These are all bad.
If you must, make sure your cash is in a safe place and that you control where you go. The only people having fun if something goes south will be your robbers.
“All Beginnings Are Hard.” – German Proverb
And that’s that – a brief guide to all the nasty, nasty action you can get up to in Germany. Have fun, stay safe, and definitely engage in Eine Kleine Crackmusik!
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Disclaimer: This guide to the German sex scene is merely for entertainment purposes and should not be taken seriously.