2022 Ukraine Update: Following the Russian invasion of Ukraine, we advise against all travel to the country for the foreseeable future. In the meantime, there are numerous charities and NGOs to which you can donate to help those affected by the conflict.
She was glazed in a blend of baby oil and cum. Wiping off the post-thigh gap fucking mess with one hand, she handed me a cold Ukrainian beer with the other.
Welcome to Odessa, the Ukrainian city of sin on the Black Sea and the site of what was possibly the best erotic massage I’ve ever experienced.
Cheap, filthy, and with leg-trembling orgasms, this unmissable review covers my oiled-up experience in Odessa, but I’ll show you how to find similar places across Ukraine.
After all, erotic massages have become somewhat of a franchise here. Now, without further ado, let’s begin!
My First Thigh Gap Fucking Experience
“Urm… Massage?” I say into the intercom before the rusty iron gates give me access to a classic courtyard characteristic of the Ukrainian Black Sea city of Odessa.
The first sight that hits me is a mass of cheap towels drying in the wind. The designs range from plain pink to cartoon-themed towels emblazoned with Shrek and Toy Story images.
I’m welcomed into a large building on the left of the courtyard by a blonde Ukrainian MILF with Asiatic eyes and a stunning figure.
As is the custom in Eastern Europe, I take my shoes off as she gives me a pair of flip-flops to wear. Then, I’m taken to the waiting room and asked to chill for a few minutes.
Some sensual porn is playing on a TV, and the room is stifling hot. Before me is a menu in Russian and poorly-translated English. Fuck! How is this so cheap? I thought.
An erotic body-to-body massage was $15, adding an extra masseuse was $10, and an hour with a Dominatrix was $30. Am I in heaven? I thought.
Then, the door flung open and in walked seven scantily-clad Ukrainian whores of various looks, from alternative biker chicks to sexually ferocious MILFs. I went with the latter.
As she introduced herself, the naturally blonde Natasha was tiny, even in heels. Her petite frame made her enormous tits look even better. I felt I’d made a good choice.
I opted for the one-hour erotic massage, paid the money, and was led upstairs for a shower before being invited into a room with mirrored walls, where my sexy masseuse invited me to lie down on the bed.
Slipping out of my towel, my cock was rigid and dangling mid-air. But it was nothing she hadn’t seen before. She just fiddled with the sound system to play some music.
Lying on my front, I felt the warm kiss of heated massage oil spray all over my back, kicking off one of the best erotic massages I’ve ever experienced.
This was no generic rub and tug, my friends. This girl knew how to give a massage and equally knew how to tease you by increasingly edging closer to your cock and balls.
Then, the best part (so far) came. I watched in the mirrored walls as this Ukrainian MILF slid out of her lingerie and sprayed her giant tits with hot oil.
Then, the Nuru Massage came. Her soft tits slid sensually over my body from my calves, across my ass, and all the way to my upper back.
Whenever Natasha was eye-to-eye with my ear, she’d flick her tongue inside and whisper dirty talk in Russian. I hardly understand any of it, but it sounded fucking hot!
Then, I was ordered to turn over before Natasha promptly rewarded the front of my body with her oiled-up titty massage, dragging her milkers over my dick and across my chest.
After this beautiful form of erotic torture, she thrust her MILF tits in my face. I didn’t give a shit that they were caked in massage oil; I sucked them as a man possessed!
“I kept sliding my dick further north so that Natasha’s meaty hanging pussy lips would caress the tip of my dick as I fucked her thigh gap.”
The eroticism was immense. My dick felt like it was going to explode. But when my wandering hands reached Natasha’s meaty MILF pussy, she promptly pushed me away.
Upsell incoming! I thought. But no, Natasha was firm. “Sex nyet!” she whispered. I later realised this was a strictly adhered-to “no penetration” loophole to avoid trouble with the Ukrainian cops.
But then, an intensely naughty smile spread over her hard but friendly MILF face. Getting into Doggystyle, Natasha applied a copious amount of massage oil to her soft thighs.
“Davai!” (come on) she whispered. I needed no further instructions. I slid my cock between her smooth, freshly-shaved thighs. Fuck. My. Life! It felt insane!
Honestly, it was nothing short of the same sensation you’d get from bareback. I started pumping between Natasha’s legs in my first thigh gap fucking experience.
This Ukrainian MILF knew her shit. She’d adjust the width of her legs to give me a tight and loose sensation. Sometimes, it felt like I was fucking an ass, then a pussy!
Ok, I was a bit naughty. I kept sliding my dick further north so that Natasha’s meaty hanging pussy lips would caress the tip of my dick as I fucked her thigh gap.
But she grew wise to this and switched positions. Now laying on her back with her legs together and in the air, I had the best view as I fucked her thighs and looked down at her.
Natasha’s tits bounced wildly below me as I pumped away. Flicking her tongue out, she reeled off more dirty talk in Russian and encouraged me to cum. I couldn’t hold it.
She pressed her legs ever tighter together, and my dick erupted, spraying ropes upon ropes of hot white cum all over her upper body as she giggled and covered her eyes from the sperm assault.
I felt like the orgasm lasted forever. Fuck, I can’t remember the last time a pussy made me cum that hard, and it was literally a thigh gap fucking! I thought.
Yep, there was fucking jizz everywhere! Glad it wasn’t my bed. But Natasha was unphased and wiped me down with tissues before sending my shaking body back to the shower.
We parted ways with a hug and a kiss, and I was back in the cold winter air of Odessa, albeit much warmer and fuzzier than I was before my thigh gap fucking experience.
The Massage Parlour Facilities
This place is an old-school whorehouse, just without the fucking. It’s nestled in an old Odessa courtyard in a building dating back to the Russian Empire.
But inside, the interior is cosy, clean, and comfortable. You’re invited into the waiting room and offered a free drink whilst you browse the menu and then the escorts themselves.
Up the narrow staircase is two private rooms and a communal shower. The rooms feature a low bed surrounded by mirrors and a cheap stereo system to play some erotic music.
The walls are adorned with slightly surreal erotic art, and the room is dimly lit with red neon strips.
The Massage Escorts Inside
This is Ukraine, so even the most haggard escorts here are generally pretty stunning in their own way. Expect the age to be from 18 to 50, with lots of variation.
On my visits here, I’ve experienced everything from a heavily tattooed (even the face) alternative girl to a prim and proper university student trying to make an extra bit of cash.
Personally, I often opt for the soft hands and hard-bitten faces of the Ukrainian MILFs. They’ve seen their way around countless cocks, and they know how to make you spurt!
Other Erotic Services Available
There’s no conventional sex offered here, but there are a lot of wild and kinky things you can do without slamming your dick into a girl, such as:
- Female domination service: An hour of whips, chains, strapons, and verbal humiliation. Trust me, Ukrainian women don’t fuck around. Just say “extreme” and let her do the rest. Oh, and maybe learn how to beg for mercy in Russian. You’ll need it.
- Double erotic massage: Is that $30 burning a hole in your pocket? Why not go wild and book two whores to oil themselves up and worship your body like you’re some kind of Roman warlord? You can pay for as many women as you like, but honestly, any more than two gets a little cramped.
- Erotic prostate massage: If you really want to empty your balls, these kinky Ukrainian sluts are open-minded about sliding a digit in your forbidden hole. In fact, it’s on the menu for a couple of dollars more than a standard erotic massage.
Where is The Best Erotic Massage Ever, And How Do I Visit?
This place is located in downtown Odessa just a mere stone’s throw from the Black Sea city’s train station.
It’s discreetly located through a grey steel door at 44 Velyka Arnauts’ka Street, and the courtyard is accessible via an intercom.
Buzz the intercom, and when you hear the subtle “da?” from the other end, simply say “massage”, and they’ll buzz you in. Then, go to the door of the building on the left and call.
You’ll know you’re in the right place when you see an exceptionally unnatural amount of cheap, freshly washed towels hanging outside.
Naturally, this place has a high turnover rate regarding towels.
Top Tips For Visiting an Erotic Body-to-Body Massage in Ukraine
It’s $15 dollars for a massage and around $30 to get your shit checked by an angry Ukrainian MILF. So, naturally, I’ve been here more times than I can count.
As always, here are some of my best tips for visiting this erotic body-to-body massage parlour in Odessa, or similar parlours across Ukraine.
If You Really Want Sex, There Is a Way
I get it; thigh gap fucking isn’t for everyone. After an hour of feeling your Ukrainian concubine slide all over your naked body and stuff her tits in your mouth, you want it all!
Take my advice, do not ask for sex in here. It’s not happening. By operating like this and barring penetrative sex, the parlour remains legal and above board.
However, if you really want sex, then you can arrange to meet her afterwards via private arrangement when she’s off the clock. Simply ask, and she’ll let you know.
If You Go For The Domination Service, Set a Safeword. Seriously!
In the West, a Dominatrix session can cost from $100 way into the thousands. So when you see an hour-long Femdom service offered for $30 here, it’s easy to be adventurous.
But hold your horses, my friend. You’re not in Kansas anymore. Ukrainian women do not fuck around. If you want them to fuck you up in a Femdom session, they won’t hesitate.
The first time I ordered it, I expected something half-assed for the price. But I was made to lick dirty heels, and I was slapped by the force of the 1st Ukrainian Front across my body.
Whilst penetrative sex on the girls is forbidden, you’re open game regarding a rubber cock as that doesn’t count.
So prepare to get fucked harder than a German soldier sent to defend berlin in 1945 and, for fuck’s sake, set a safeword. You’ll thank me for it later.
Oh, and don’t use Oklahoma. That tends never to work. Go native and use something like Sevastopol instead.
Understand The Time Arrangements
Once or twice, I’ve seen guys get pissy with the girls because the hour they paid for ended up lasting forty-five minutes. Relax, my friend.
The service includes a relaxing shower before and afterwards, which generally takes around fifteen minutes. So don’t expect an hour to the exact minute.
If you wanna go for another ride? It’s $15, don’t cause a scene.
Who Knew a Woman’s Thighs Can Double as a Live-Action Fleshlight?
To sum up, this cheap and cheerful erotic massage parlor in Odessa reinvented how I looked at a woman’s thighs by introducing me to the world of thigh gap fucking.
With a tonne of baby oil applied, thigh gap fucking feels just like bareback sex. Sure, it ain’t proper sex, but at $15 a shot and no condom bullshit, I’m not complaining!
Explore More of Erotic Eastern Europe
- In Photos: I Spent 1 Week With a Gypsy Prostitute
- The Certified Czech Sex Guide to Prague (Top Tips For 2022)
- The Undefeated Ukraine Sex Tourism Guide (Top Tips For 2022)
And if you’re not visiting Odessa, don’t worry! Although this one is the best, Ukraine has similar erotic massage parlours in every town and city; check out my guide to finding them.
