The Free 10-Step Guide to Hooking up on Sites like Adult Friend Finder

I’m well versed in the only hookup scene. Over the years, I’ve tried out a lot of adult dating apps, from free to paid.

Recently, I’ve gravitated towards the paid variety of Sites like Adult Friend Finder for several reasons.

From more dedicated members to fewer timewasters, a paid site attracts a different horny clientele than the free hookup sites.

Those on the former have invested a tiny bit of money into their membership, so the majority are keen to get the most out of it.

“Alongside my social pics, I like to upload what I call ‘Adult Friend Finder Porn’ in the form of my hardcore photos. My creampied pussy is always a good conversation starter!”

Now, there are a lot of premium adult dating sites out there. Ashley Madison caters to promiscuous folk, and Fetlife is aimed at the BDSM and fetish community.

Adult Friend Finder (AFF) is often the most widely-used adult hookup site. So it’s AFF that we’ll be using as an example in today’s article.

I’ve noticed that many people don’t know how to use it properly on adult hookup sites, resulting in poor results and, often, a waste of money.

I’ve been securing debauched hookups from such sites for years, and I’ve received a lot of mail from other users in the process.

So I’m well-versed in how hookup sites work and how they don’t. In this article, I’ll be showing you:

  • How to avoid one-word messages and use methods to construct one worth reading.
  • What kind of pictures to upload to your profile on adult dating websites.
  • How to easily take a meeting offline and hook up in person.

And, of course, much more! Now, let’s dive in as I show you some of my hard-earned secrets from using sites like Adult Friend Finder for over a decade.

What Are Sites Like Adult Friend Finder All About?

Some hookups aren’t shy about showing off their assets on a date.

Before we begin, it’s important to differentiate between sites like AFF and Ashley Madison when compared to conventional hookup sites like Tinder, Grindr, etc. As many people naturally wonder how AdultFriendFinder works.

These types of FriendFinder networks cater exclusively to those seeking regular hookups and casual sex with open-minded people.

If you’re seeking someone who is more into Hotwifing than someone who is looking to go to cocktail bars with, then these are the sites to aim for.

Adult Friend Finder networks have several free features. But as with anything, you get what you pay for.

Signing up for a premium gold membership guarantees better results from the adult dating program, as gold members are granted an array of saucy features to take advantage of.

Despite the likes of AFF being around for two decades and amassing hundreds of millions of members, many people are still relatively unaware of it.

But such internet dating websites that cater to the adult community facilitate a new realm of casual sex, kink, and lust in towns and cities worldwide.

Regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, location, or body type, they’re equally used by real people on the road looking to sample the various sex scenes abroad.

Invest Time in Your Adult Dating Site Profile

How does a VPN work?

Let’s start at the beginning. After signing up, your first step is to make a profile that attracts the opposite sex.

Sadly, I see many members neglect this step and have never understood why.

Whether to bars or a swingers club, you dress to impress if you’re planning on going out in real life. Your online persona should be no different. Let me explain:

Make your profile bio as enjoyable as possible. Come up with a memorable and unique username. Talk about your kinks, fantasies, desires, what you’re looking for, etc.

We’re not looking for War And Peace, just a few well-worded paragraphs to let people know you’re worth messaging, whether for a quick hookup or to be seen as a long-term addition to another user’s personal life.

A good tip is that a short and punchy bio should be 70% about yourself and 30% about your wants, desires, and the type of person you’re looking for.

Provide Some Adult Friend Finder Porn For Other Kinksters

As well as a decent bio, one of the most eye-catching parts of a profile on sites like AFF is your photos. Most of the world has access to a smartphone with a half-decent camera. So use it!

I suggest a blend of pictures and videos that capture both your social side and your sexual side.

Be proactive, be unique, and don’t be afraid to stand out amongst the AdultFriendFinder community.

Alongside my social pics, I like to upload what I call ”Adult Friend Finder Porn” in the form of my hardcore naked photos. My creampied pussy is always a good conversation starter!

Of course, if your social videos or photos feature you with other non-kinkster people, always obscure their identities before publishing if you don’t have their consent. It also avoids confusion.

Also, always use up-to-date videos and pictures representing what you look like now. Try not to be self-conscious; someone out there will love what you see as flaws.

Nobody likes being deceived, so don’t use old or modified snaps or videos.

Adult Friend Finder Women Don’t Like One-Word Messages

You’re trying to tell me that this deserves a one-word message?

This one goes out specifically to the guys. Let me tell you, from woman to man: We don’t like one-word messages! But this goes for all genders too.

I’d be a rich woman if I had a pound or dollar for every ‘hey’, ‘how are you?’ or ‘you’re hot’ message. Please put some thought into your opening message, or it’ll get you nowhere.

For example, if you’ve seen a fellow kinkster you’d love to fuck for hours, then read their profile in full.

What are their likes and interests? Where are they initially from? Do they have a relative niche fetish?

These are the kind of conversation topics that catch people’s attention. I, for example, love dominating men with a strapon cock.

When I get a message on that topic, I’m instantly interested, and it overrides the ten ‘hey’ messages I received that day.

Avoid Text Ping Pong On An Online Dating Site

You’re not there to talk about the weather when you’ve paid a membership fee to a premium adult hookup site.

AFF’s chat feature is nice and smooth, but it’s a means to an end.

One thing that rings alarm bells for me is ping pong messages. If I’m interacting with someone, I want to play with, and I want to fuck them. Ideally soon.

Logging on each day to exchange messages for hours isn’t my motive. I want to spend hours swapping bodily fluids. So get to the point, and don’t be afraid to sort out a meet.

My best advice for this topic is to save the most interesting conversation topics for when you meet. It avoids ping pong and eliminates potential awkward silence in person.

Don’t Be Afraid to Crack Some Jokes

The world of adult hookups is by no means uptight, and all conversation doesn’t have to be about sex and kink. Don’t be afraid to make jokes and get a rapport with the opposite sex.

Relevant jokes and a good sense of humour can also be a unique conversation starter that works excellent.

I love some banter before, after, and during sex. It makes the sexual energy more intense. So if a potential lover can make me laugh from the get-go, I’m already damp downstairs for them.

Be Honest With Yourself And Others

Honesty is an integral part of online hookups. Be honest with it and upfront, whether it’s your kinks, issues, desires, or aims. No matter what.

If you like dressing up as a woman and being fucked like a whore, mention it. Please don’t leave it a surprise for the other person who may or may not be into that.

I’m upfront about my sex addiction and pornosexual status whenever I converse with potential lovers. Some feel guilty about contributing to such behaviour, but I honestly explain how I handle it and live everyday life.

Some decide not to meet me; others feel more comfortable. But I’m content that the former were not exposed to finding out after fucking me and potentially feeling guilty over it.

Hookup Responsibly

Take your hookup out for a meal. The dessert can be interesting…

Your profile has garnered attention, and you’ve planned to meet up with a raunchy fellow hookup site member. Well done!

A date with an open-minded kinkster can be an exciting one indeed. But meeting up with people you’ve met online requires you to be a little more cautious than usual.

Firstly, always meet in a well-lit public place to gauge each other and see how you get on. If everything goes well, discreetly take it behind closed doors.

Whatever debauchery you get up to, keep it consensual and keep it safe. Respect the other person’s private life and ensure you keep their kinks and online shenanigans under wraps.

Keep An Open Mind

One of my gripes with online hookup sites is the small number of closed-minded folk who don’t respect other fetishes.

A good friend is a dedicated sissy and often receives abusive messages when she offers her willing hole to bi-curious males on the site.

The world of kink is about exploration and open-mindedness. If you see a site member with a relatively obscure fetish, why not use the opportunity to learn more about it?

Why not meet up and try it out if it piques your interest? Whether you want to pull out or not is entirely up to you.

In addition, don’t be confined to ”your type” on such sites. Use it as a chance to explore a plethora of different lovers. You may discover what you’ve been missing!

Such environments should be taken advantage of to thoroughly learn, understand, and possibly enjoy new experiences, kinks, and sensuality.

So please keep an open mind, my horny friends!

Don’t Fall For An Adult Friend Finder Scam!

I like to keep it accurate. Whilst there are a lot of wonderful and genuine kinksters on AFF, there are a small handful of scammers and fake profiles determined to ruin a nice thing.

This has led to many people asking: Are sites like AdultFriendFinder safe? In my opinion, yes, they are.

AdultFriendFinder asks new members to complete a personality test to identify bots. Although some do slip through the net, the registration process usually weeds them out.

Thankfully, they’re often easy to spot when you receive messages from them and are harshly dealt with by site admins.

From bots to hustlers, scams can come in many forms, and it’s essential to be aware of them.

A few staple rules can avoid scams. Never send money to people you’ve never met, develop an eye for fake pictures, and beware of unverified profiles.

And if it’s too good to be true? It probably isn’t!

Most Importantly: Have Fun On Sites Like Adult Friend Finder!

And last but by no means least, the most important thing to remember is to have fun on adult hookup sites. This shouldn’t be seen as a chore or tedious.

Instead, it should be viewed as a fun chance to interact with fellow kinksters online in a fun, friendly, and non-judgemental environment.

And if you get the best sex of your life out of it, then happy days! But if not, don’t despair. Plenty of other opportunities will come along, I’m sure!

Final Thoughts & FAQ On Using The Best Adult Dating Site

In summary, sites like Adult Friend Finder are often the haunt of more serious kinksters than free sites.

But a paid membership doesn’t guarantee a debauched time if it’s not done right.

Overall, put time into your profile and other members whilst treating people with respect, and you’ll likely go far on such sites.

Be creative, and don’t be afraid to get out there and enjoy yourself.

To round off this guide to the first online dating site I ever used. Let’s round off by answering some commonly asked questions that many dating apps like AFF conjure up.

What Does a Gold Membership Unlock?

New users to sites like AdultFriendFinder are given two options: Use the limited resources of a free member account or sign up for a premium account (often called Gold Membership).

But the best things in life aren’t free. So gold members unlock access to the site’s best features and get a higher position when being searched for by potential partners.

You can view live videos and live streams of other slutty members. Plus, when you message people to chat, they can also send virtual gifts to other users to gain their attention.

Overall, it works out cheaper than buying somebody a drink in a bar and is usually more than worth it to pay for an entire year of membership when you successfully chat and bag a dirty hookup with other members.

What Are The Top 3 Places for Casual Online Dating?

Whilst AdultFriendFinder was arguably amongst the first online dating sites for horny adults, many other contenders who come forward in the years since.

These days, the likes of Ashley Madison and Black Crush are also classed as some of the best hookup sites around.

Who Founded AdultFriendfinder?

Esteemed U.S. businessman Andrew Conru founded the FriendFinder networks.

The hookup website networks were launched in 1996 and have since amassed hundreds of millions of new users.

The Adult Friend Finder site won AVN awards due to its services to the kinkster community.

Do Single Men Stand a Chance?

Many people assume that any adult hookup site will be a sausage fest.

Even though some are, the techniques outlined in this article will ensure your profile cuts through the mediocre ones and gets you meetings with other users, female or otherwise.

But remember, the world of online hookups on sites like Adult Friend Finder can be fun, but it also has its dangers. Beware of scams and fake photos, and be safe when you meet in person.

Never reveal your home location to people you don’t trust entirely. Check out these free online dating safety tips to ensure you hook up responsibly.

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Disclaimer: This article may contain affiliate links to approved products. When a purchase is made through these links, we may receive a small commission at no extra cost to you.

Monika Jung
After over a decade in the adult industry, there isn't much debauchery Monika hasn't seen. These days, she is a well-travelled and highly respected consultant of all things erotic. From advising sex workers to reviewing gangbang events, this busty German seductress will lead you by the hand into some of the most incredible corners of global sex.

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